Tucker Hulihan gets a pie in the face

It’s the end of February, and on the last Saturday of every February for the past 36 years guys from the ‘Burgh get together to have a good meal, share some spirits, catch up on old times and then brutally rip into each other about anything and everything.

And, while all that’s going on, the Friends of 112th Street Committee raise thousands of dollars for non-profit groups and charities throughout not only the ‘Burgh but the city as a whole. Though, there were still some in the room who would rather not acknowledge the fact the ‘Burgh merged with the City of Troy proper in 1900 and would just as soon see a moat replace 101st Street.

Anyway, as I’ve written and as you know, the whole thing started when a handful of guys went out to dinner one night and had such a good time they decided to do it again the following year. Eventually, 36 years later, it turned into some 300 guys in the St. Augustine’s gym having a good time regardless of political affiliation, philosophical perspective, favorite baseball team or choice of pet.

I really can’t say too much about the specifics. For starters, I would probably get sued for libel if I printed half of what was said about spouses, affairs, siblings, offspring, politics, police records or sexual orientation. That, and this is a family newspaper so if I printed what the speakers actually said you would have a tough time figuring it out because about every other word would be something along the lines of $#@#$%E#.

Anyway, I’ll do what I can without upsetting all those who live north of 101st Street. After the dinner, which was pretty good this year, there is the awards ceremony. No, it’s not like the Academy Awards in that there isn’t a bunch of glitz and glamour — which would be hard to do when you get 300 ‘Burgh guys together drinking beer — but I guarantee the awards mean as much to the guys who got them as any Oscar.

This year’s winners in the Sports category are: Kevin Doherty, Kent Fane, Jim Lance III and George Dempsey, who is one of three known people to swim the length of Lake George.

Military awards went to Tom Doherty and Bob Reiter. A Special Award was given to Mike O’Brien. This year’s humanitarian award went to Jim Farley and this year’s Man of the Year was awarded to Jim Gordon.

Then, the Friends take a break and the real fun starts. As an aside, during the break, I got my photo taken with a bunch of Police Benevolent Association members at their request. I think they were at the same table who booed when the MC thanked me for coming. That’s OK though, it was pretty funny. I didn’t, however, see the PBA’s new police commissioner there and will have to see if any of them were on OT.

After the break, there is a skit, which this year focused on Obamacare, and then the speakers take turns ripping into each other, anyone else who happens to be in attendance and even some who aren’t. First out of the gate was Mick Cahrenger, who gets better every year. Then it was Dave Kissick, the longtime educator at Lansingburgh and LaSalle who made his first appearance in front of the Friends and is a natural.

Then it was the ‘Burgh’s favorite uncle, Tucker Hulihan, who was one of those guys who got the whole ball rolling 36 years ago. After playfully flipping off the crowd for not laughing at his jokes, he got a pie in the face to celebrate his 80th birthday. In a warped kind of way, a pie in the face is a bigger sign of affection than having your wife’s fidelity questioned by the Friends.

Next up was Jim Lance, the father of the Jim Lance who won the sports award, and he is just a scream but he also touched on some topics more serious than a woman’s body parts. He was followed by the always funny John McLaughlin, the longtime news guy now working at Channel 13 who might not make it back next year should he win his bid for the papacy.

And, as it’s been in the few years I’ve been going, Neil Kelleher, the former chairman of the Rensselaer County Legislature, was the headliner. He comes back up from Florida every year for the dinner and is one of the best speakers I have ever seen. He is brutally funny, self-depreciating, provocative and sincere. Every time I say: “Wow, he is good,” I hear: “Not as good as his father.” Well, I missed his father’s speeches at the Friends, but I’m sure his father is looking down with pride — not just at his son but the whole lot of guys who keep the tradition going.

Missing this year was radio and TV talk show host Paul Vandenburgh, who grew up in the ‘Burgh. But, his absence didn’t spare his chops from being busted either.

In the end, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

As with the speakers and the award winners, the guys on the committee who work tirelessly to keep this unique event going deserve a ton of credit too. They are: Chair Bob Kilgallon, Hulihan, Gene Blair, Jim Flynn, Mike Flynn, Eric Gower, Mike McDonald, Ron Bounds, Cahrenger and Kevin Vandenburgh.

As in years past I have to say, despite the sometimes — well, most times — tasteless mass-roast, the Friends dinner is a way for the ‘Burgh community to help out their own and the city as a whole while at the same time keep in touch with Friends that may otherwise fall by the wayside as each life takes its individual course.

That should just never happen, and the Friends dinner on the last Saturday in February is one way to make sure it doesn’t.

This week’s Talespin was written by James V. Franco. He can be reached at 478-5343